Seeking Calm Within the Chaos

We have all been through a hell of a lot in the past year or so.  I don’t know anyone in my sphere who hasn’t been affected by the events of our world on a soul level. Obviously, some more than others. Through it all, I have really been relying on my practice and turning to the wisdom of my teachers (as well as my inner teacher) to help me feel some semblance of calm in the midst of the chaos. 

I didn’t go into the pandemic in a normal state of equilibrium or even a state of balance. The past two years has been like one large rug that keeps getting pulled out from under my feet. I have barely had time to find any ground in my day-to-day life as I have experienced the full breadth of the human experience: many types of loss, complete financial change, a move, parenting in uncertainty, a new relationship, a new me, coming out, starting over, health problems and mental illness. Sometimes I wonder how I have even survived without having a mental breakdown.

That being said, I have found the most beautiful gift in the middle of this terrible hurricane. It reminds me of a May Erlewine song (if you haven’t listened to this woman, please stop reading and do so now). She sings “Even when the sky is falling/there’s stardust to find.” We have all heard a form of this before, that it is in the darkness we find the light, in the toughest times we find our resilience. 

What is this treasure you might ask? Simply, the state of Yoga Nidra. I have been practicing daily for about 3 years now, but my practice has reached such depths throughout this truly trying time for myself and my family. As someone with and anxiety and panic disorder to begin with, daily stressors are already staring me down the minute I open my eyes. The act of surrendering to these, witnessing them through Yoga Nidra, and feeling into my true ground of being, my expansive Self, may sound obvious, but I can tell you it is terrifying when you begin. Most significant things are terrifying.

To feel emotions arising out of fear and still lie or sit with them in an open welcoming awareness is like putting down your weapons and sitting calmly in the middle of a battlefield full of opponents coming at you. Calling on Nidra Shakti to guide me through such a quest creates a container in which I can safely explore these shadows. It is only when we start to acknowledge and work with the darkness of our own being that we begin to commune with our own higher Self. I put down the weapons, I allow them to all come and guess what? They begin to fade. They throw their fits and yell and create a chaos in my mind, but I, grounded in the very fabric of truth, can just watch. This is the power of a real meditation practice.

I have been a long-time meditator and I understood the cues of “watching the thoughts like a cloud”. It was never fully realized within my own experience, however, until I was allowed to lie down and surrender completely, knowingly and safely into the Earth. With my body completely relaxed against the ground or a soft surface, it allowed me to travel deeper into my consciousness than ever before. Thus, the power of Yoga Nidra. The surrender is key, putting down weapons of the mind that want me to fight these arising thoughts or emotions, dropping back through the waters of consciousness like a heavy stone sinking to the bottom of a lake.

Even if you are an experienced meditator with a disciplined practice, I invite you to explore the wonder and power of complete surrender. We all have days when we feel run down and need nourishing rest. Nidra provides this in spades while also creating a container for exploration of the very depths of your being.  

I do offer one-on-one sessions of Yoga Nidra and, if you are interested in exploring the various methods of awakened sleep, you can find many resources on my website. May we all experience the power of sitting with our shadows to access our luminous, eternal light. ❤